Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. ~ Helen Keller
God, how much of my life I’ve lived out of a want for security. Probably 95% of my days and decisions have been based on that tenuous feeling of security, or desire for it. Until now and my latest life moves, that is. I’ve gone from feeling a sense of security in place – where I was living, who I was living with – to feeling untethered, completely unmoored. At first it scared the shit out of me, but now, not so much.
What’s changed? I realized this is the first time in my life that I have gone ANYWHERE completely alone. I even went away to college with my best friend. The year and a half I was away at college was the only time I’ve lived further than two hours away from my parents and family. Now firmly in midlife, it’s about damn time to do this!
I don’t know what tomorrow holds. I don’t know where I’ll be. I’m not even sure anymore what I’ll be doing. But I do know this: the potential for real change, for doors to open where they didn’t exist before, is possible only when we head outside of our comfort zones. Do the scary things.
I don’t know where I’ll end up, or what I’ll be doing. I do know that whatever it is, it will be different than if I’d stayed where I was, in my comfort zone, feeling secure and doing what I’d been doing. Comfort is not conducive to growth, expansion, potential. The very act of feeling UNcomfortable means you’re thinking, and opening yourself up to new opportunities. Courage isn’t being fearless (heck, I was and still sometimes am terrified of being out here, dangling on this limb of uncertainty). Courage is being scared, and doing it anyway.
That’s what I’m going to keep doing, and visualizing who and where I want to be, and see where it takes me.